October 31, 2008

Six months later, I still can't shake the feeling. After our spring break journey to Poland and Prague, it's hardly diminished; rather it permeates my entire existence. Everywhere I go, everything I see, and most certainly every expression of my Judaism can be viewed through the filter of that experience. I would say I feel like a survivor, without having experienced it - obviously I lack the essential component, but I'm deeply affected nonetheless. I suppose the difference is that I choose to see things in this light. I look for opportunities to experience everything in this hue, mostly voluntarily, but often not. Paradoxically, I'm consistently empowered to cherish, or rather devour life, the more I allow the darkness to take hold. I feel it's my duty. To honor their memory and to choose life.

Our common ancestor, Noah, of Great Flood fame, couldn't bring himself to live again. The Almighty coaxes and coaxes him out of the Ark, practically begging and promising the world, to get Noah to rebuild, to grasp life. But, alas, he cannot. While he was the life-giving force for every animal in existence, feeding each according to its diet and time, never resting a moment (even the slightest tardiness lost him a finger by lion), he could not rise to the challenge and grasp it himself. He died a broken man, a survivor who could not shake his past. What he saw of mankind and its destruction was too much to reconfigure into a life-affirming existence. He begins the story as a "Man of Righteousness" and ends as simply a "Man of the Ground" - base, reduced to merely his potential, void of its realization.

Is there a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? As we know, the rainbow is the remnant of Noah's deal with God that the world would never again meet the same fate. We're reminded by its colorful array that perhaps the world is not so deserving of life, and yet His infinity mercy mediates any subsequent judgment. I would suggest, however, that we have a calling, a response - an opportunity, as a result. We can cling to life. We can learn how to live, to be alive, and then chase after it with every morsel of strength. To recognize by what standards, which currencies can life really be measured? Money or smiles? Honor or humility? Selfishness or kindness? Active or inactive? Friendship or loneliness? The Torah gives us insight after insight, and opportunity after opportunity. If only we Jews could properly appreciate the power of a mizvoh - even those without a "beneficiary", just because we're Jews. Being a Jew is being alive, living the Torah is called living. This was for me the most profound lesson of our trip. This is where we became resurrected as a people, even in the heart of the camps. Herein lies the pot of gold.

Good Shabbos,
Rabbi "leprechaun" Lynn